In Memoriam: Where We Say Goodbye- The Conclusion

 In Memoriam: Where We Say Goodbye

in Onondaga County

Thank you for journeying with me this summer as we explored the stories found within the places we say goodbye to our loved ones in Onondaga County. Each marker within represents a life of someone who lived among us. Their lives mattered not only because they helped shape the fabric of our community, but because they were loved. Someone smiled when they were born, loved them while they lived, cried when they died, and carried on their stories within their hearts when they left the graveside. Together we explored...

1. Delphi Falls Cemetery

2. Onondaga Valley Cemetery

3. Franklin Burial Ground

4. First Ward Burial Ground

5. St Patrick's Cemetery, Jordan

6. Oakwood Cemetery

7. St Mary's Cemetery, Minoa

8. Rose Hill Cemetery

9. Shepard's Settlement Cemetery

10. LaFayette Cemetery

11. St Agnes Cemetery

12. Jordan Village Cemetery

13. War 1812 Cemetery

14. Amber Cemetery

15. Riverview Cemetery, Baldwinsville

16. St Mary Cemetery, Dewitt

17. Walnut Grove Cemetery

18. Redman Cemetery

19. Christ Church/ Manlius Village Cemetery

20. Pompey Hill Cemetery

21. Pine Plains Cemetery

22. Woodlawn Cemetery, Syracuse

23. Myrtle Grove Cemetery

24. Elbridge Rural Cemetery

25. Liverpool Village Cemetery

26. Onondaga County Veterans Cemetery

In Memoriam: Where We Say Goodbye- Place 26: Onondaga County Veterans Memorial Cemetery

Onondaga County Veterans

Memorial Cemetery

The Storykeepers

How do we honor our Veterans?

Historically,

veterans, such as the many Military Tract veterans,

were buried with family where they settled after the Revolutionary War.

Sometimes their deeds were on their headstones,

but usually later generations remembered them by placing a special

flag holder to remember their service.

Others were plowed under

And sometimes we forget.

At the Old Lodi Cemetery,

 several Revolutionary War veterans are interred here.

None of their markers are still standing.

Some War of 1812 veterans who served and made it home

are buried with their loved ones.

And some were buried among strangers.

Some Civil War veterans were buried near markers 

that remember their service.

And others are marked by the community

they came from.

There are the almost forgotten wars 

like the Mexican War

And the Spanish War

 

And then there are the graves of those who 

lost their lives in service to their country

 

And died so close to peace 😔

But Onondaga County 

did not have once central place 

to remember those that had served upon their death...

 

until 1986.

"Formally dedicated on May 30, 1987, the Onondaga County Veterans Memorial Cemetery honors Onondaga County residents and family members who dedicated portions of their lives to the military and defense of our nation. Since the first burial of decorated World War II Navy veteran Leo McInerney on June 11, 1986, the cemetery has performed services for more than 5,000 service members from the Army, Navy, Marines, Coast Guard, and Air Force, including visionary Onondaga County Legislators Jack Haley and Jim Salanger as well as legendary paratrooper/Syracuse University football coach Ben Schwartzwalder."

https://onondagacountyparks.com/parks/cemeteries-and-memorials/?fbclid=IwAR0Vlbi_NGdO3mg4Qw3nMHPBdGrcOONoKnN4--bjtDwnltfvsRlvAE-KPyY

This area was originally farmland on "Loomis Hill".

The adjacent cemetery "Loomis Hill Cemetery"

bears this name and

is where people are buried today

at the county's expense.

Now their stories,

like a library,

are kept in one place for people

to remember and honor.

Here at the 

Veterans Cemetery,

Veterans are buried with honors.

Their spouses can be buried with them

and so can any minor children or 

disabled dependent adult children.

There is a new chapel that can 

accommodate a small

private funeral.

Laid out in rows, with flush head stones in the style of memorial park,

Like a library of lives with books in stone,

each person has story

worth remembering

in both their military and civilian lives

There are Veterans here from all branches:

Army

Navy

Air Force

Marines

Coast Guard

From those who fought in WWI

WWII

Korea

Vietnam

Persian Gulf

to Afghanistan & Iraq

And even a WAAC!

A walk through here you will find different ways of remembering:

Chimes:

Flowers in green times:

Sometimes a flower is chosen because it was the flower that made them smile in life

other times it has a deeper special meaning:

https://www.southernliving.com/garden/flowers/grave-flowers#:~:text=Flowers%20can%20represent%20feelings%20from,years%20to%20ancient%20cultures%20worldwide.

and Wreaths in times of white:

(Pic by John Kucko)

Read more about the Wreaths Across America Project:

https://www.facebook.com/JohnKuckoDigital/posts/pfbid02qJLpKditdgfP8i4BAFoqQLu9DoYLs8vz9pvnQQp5BN5kNuBtcaC4JpBNrS9CSikul

Sometimes you will find rocks or memorial stones.

This dates to ancient times as a way to signify

that someone cared enough to stop by...

...that they had not been forgotten 💗

Some more about this lovely gesture:

https://www.jcam.org/Pages/Foundation/Education/articles/stones-left-on-monuments.php

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visitation_stones

Other times,

coins are left.

Each coin on the grave can hold a special meaning.

A coin left on a headstone lets 

the deceased soldier’s family know 

that somebody stopped by to pay their respect. 

A penny means you visited. 

A nickel means you and the deceased veteran trained at boot camp together.

 A dime means you and the deceased veteran served together in some capacity. 

A quarter is very significant because it means that you were there when that veteran died.

chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://dma.mt.gov/MVAD/MVAD-Images/Coins-on-headstones-meaning.pdf

https://newsroom.woundedwarriorproject.org/The-Meaning-Behind-Coins-on-Military-Graves

https://batchelorbrothers.com/blogs/blog-entries/3/Batchelor-Brothers-News-Events/200/Coins-on-a-Headstone-Hold-Special-Meaning-Here-s-Why.html

https://abc7chicago.com/memorial-day-coins-on-tombstone-tombstones-fallen-soldiers/2048071/

A simple way to make it known,

that a veteran

and their

service 

has not been 

forgotten.

Walking through here is a lesson in

history and the the brave men and women in times of war:

Those that earned a Purple Heart

Bronze Star with Valor and Oak Leaf Cluster

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oak_leaf_cluster

The Vietnamese Cross of Gallantry and Silver Star

And one who endured being a

Prisoner of War

And then on Memorial Day,

Special tribute is given to

 the Gold Star Mothers 
who lost a son or daughter in 

service to our country 😔

https://www.goldstarmoms.com/

You'll find people of different faiths

Christian

(who also served in the Berlin Airlift!)

Jewish

Muslim

Buddhist

and none..

aka Atheists

More about headstone symbols found on military graves:
https://www.cem.va.gov/hmm/emblems.asp

But for all their differences,

what they shared in common

is

that they served our nation!

Every year on the Sunday before Memorial Day,

The county holds a special service to honor those

who have died,

especially those in the past year.

The solemn ceremony

is a way to respectfully thank those

who have served in the many branches of our military.

Each marker here represents

Someone who served

or someone who prayed they would come home safely

And with the playing of "Taps",

Everyone is reminded once again

how thin the line is that 

military families walk between

tears shed at happy reunion

and

tears shed by the graveside.

https://www.findagrave.com/cemetery/182902/onondaga-county-veterans-memorial-cemetery

So why do we remember?

Because they were people just like us!

And the next generation 

needs to know them...

not just as s soldier or sailor...

but as Grandpa

Papa

and Beloved Husband

with hopes, dreams,

hobbies,

and a life well lived.

Even if they never met them,

or barely remember doing so,

it is part of our history:

One that needs to be passed down to the

next generation of

family chroniclers.

On September 2nd,

My grandfather would have celebrated his 

107th Birthday.

He told us he never wanted to live that long.

Nearly 88 years was long enough for him.

He had lived a good life.

He was ready to meet his Maker.

11 year later, his wife joined him, once again by his side.

And now I bring my children

so they will know

and carry on their stories

long after I am gone.

I met this man when I visited last.

He waved me over.

Seemed to want to talk.

"My wife's buried here!

One day I'll join her..."

"...But Wednesday, I am going to the fair."

He had stopped by to say hi to her.

But he knew he still had stuff to do here above ground.

He served in Korea.

And one day,

 he will join her here

with the thousands of others

whose stories need to be told.

Train the next generation to be the 

STORYKEEPERS...

to listen

to care

to carry on

so that no one gets forgotten.

This piece captures 

it all beautifully:

"Have you ever thought about this?

In 100 years like in 2123 

we will all be buried with our relatives and friends.

Strangers will live in our homes we fought so hard to build, 

and they will own everything we have today. 

All our possessions will be unknown and unborn, 

including the car we spent a fortune on, 

and will probably be scrap, 

preferably in the hands of an unknown collector.

Our descendants will hardly or hardly know who we were, 

nor will they remember us. 

How many of us know our grandfather's father?

After we die, we will be remembered for a few more years, 

then we are just a portrait on someone's bookshelf, 

and a few years later our history, photos 

and deeds disappear in history's oblivion. 

We won't even be memories.

If we paused one day to analyze these questions, 

perhaps we would understand how ignorant 

and weak the dream to achieve it all was.

If we could only think about this, surely our approaches, 

our thoughts would change, we would be different people.

Always having more, no time for what's really valuable in this life. 

I'd change all this to live and enjoy the walks I've never taken, 

these hugs I didn't give, 

these kisses for our children and our loved ones, 

these jokes we didn't have time for. 

Those would certainly be the most beautiful moments to remember, 

after all they would fill our lives with joy.

And we waste it day after day with greed, greed and intolerance."

~Anonymous

Go be that person
today...

because in the end,

that's all we really have 

anyways

💗